Crowley: I smelt smoke… OH HEY LANA! Light me up one, babe!
Aziraphale: CROWLEY! Smoking is not allowed on this flight!
Crowley: Oh bugger off, ya twat! *blows smoke in his face*
Tripp: Crowley.. if you are both standing here… who’s flying the plane?
Crowley: Magic. Now piss off.
Tripp: you’re not allowed to smoke on flights, Lana.
Lana: Parliament’s on fire and his hands are up
Tripp: No one’s hands are up! *cough* just put that out!
Lana: *picks up Tripp’s whiskey and take’s a long sip*
Aziraphale: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking –
Crowley: I’M the captain. You’re the lame ass co-pilot, let’s be real.
Aziraphale: …this is your CO-pilot speaking. We will now be coming around with food and beverages for purchase.
J.D.: I wonder if they serve Appletini’s on this flight.
Stewardess: Would you guys like to purchase any food or beverages?
Lana: Diet Mountain Dew, baby.
Tripp: Huh.. finally you’re lyric problem actually makes some fucking sense. Do you have any ZzzQuil? Maybe a horse tranquilizer? Anything to help me sleep. Seriously.
Stewardess: I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t sell drugs on this flight, much to Crowley’s dismay. Aziraphale insisted on it.
J.D.: drugs are dangerous, you know.
Tripp: How about I pay you $30 to punch me in the face as hard as you can? Knock me the fuck out so I don’t have to deal with these lunatics.
Stewardess: I’m sorry, sir. I can offer you some booze?
Tripp: *sigh* Whiskey, please.
J.D.: It’s like they don’t even realize we can hear them…
Lana: Hello, hello. C-can you hear me? I can be your China doll, if you want to see me fall.
Tripp: I’d like to see you fall out of the plane. Yeah. How’s that for ya?
Lana: you’re screwed up and brilliant, look like a million dollar man. So why is my heart broken?
Tripp: *puts his head in his hands* I can’t. I just can’t.
J.D.: I’m a doctor. I can fix that broken heart. If that’s cool?
Lana: He said to “be cool” but I’m already coolest. I said to “get real”, “don’t you know who you’re dealing with? Um, do you think you’ll buy me lots of diamonds?
Tripp: Are you guys going to flirt over me the entire time? J.D., dude. Switch seats with me. Please.
J.D.: that’s not the seat I paid for, though.
Tripp: It’s the same damn thing, man. Just switch seats with me. PLEASE.
Lana: pick me up and take me like a vitamin. ‘Cause my body’s sweet like sugar venom, oh yeah
Tripp:
Crowley: Hello ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain, Crowley, speaking. Please prepare for take off.
Aziraphale: How do you turn this machine off?
Crowley: Seriously, man? You’re an angel. Use the “power of God” to turn it off.
Aziraphale: I can’t get it off man, seriously.
Crowley: Fuck it, dude. Just play us some tunes. Let these idiots on board listen.
Aziraphale: *turns on hymns*
Crowley: DUDE, NO! *switches it to metal*
Aziraphale: excuse me? I don’t think this is appropriate. *switches it back to hymns*
Crowley: *switches back to metal but breaks it so both audios play at the same time*
http://www.youtubemultiplier.com/53e267383e984-adrenalize-and-come-thou-fount.php *play song*
Aziraphale: awesome, man. Great. Good job. This is an entirely new form of blasphemy. You happy?
Crowley: I’m a demon… of course I’m fucking happy about it, you twat.
Tripp: Here’s how this is going to go. As soon as the flight is up I am going to plug in my headphones and go to sleep. You are not going to talk to me. Okay? I cannot handle this today.
Lana: They think I don’t understand, the freedom land of the 70’s. I think I’m too cool to know ya, you say I’m like the ice I freeze.
Tripp: honestly, I think you’re broken.
J.D.: What a pleasant surprise!!! Are you guys seated here?! I’m seated right across the aisle! How fun is this going to be?
Lana: Hello, hello. C-can you hear me?
Tripp: this is a fucking joke isn’t it? Bring out Ashton, I am being Punk’d!
Aziraphale: Welcome aboard. I’ll be one of your pilots on today’s flight to Westeros. What’s your seat number?
Tripp: 4B
Aziraphale: That will be down the aisle to the left, sir.
Tripp: Fuck. No. You have got to fucking kidding me!
Lana: Hello, hello. C-can you hear me?
Tripp: God, why are you doing this to me?
Lana: In the land of Gods and –
Tripp: NO! STOP! Stewardess! Strewardess, hi. Is there any possibility I can get a seat change?
Stewardess: It’s an entirely booked flight, sir. I’m sorry. Please take your seat.
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